Instant Celeb Status

I have a friend who recently had a baby. Actually, I have several friends who have recently had babies, but I have one very good and special friend who took the time to send me pictures of said baby. The rest of them just keep their babies to themselves. While I can all but guarentee I'm not going to obsess over your baby like you will (mostly because it's YOU'RE baby, not MY baby), I thrive on being included in the freakin joy, just like anybody else, okay? Hint hint, people...

Anyway, so my friend sent me a slideshow of her beautiful new baby girl, and it got me to thinking. I was just sent an album with 71 pictures of the same person, with whom I am not personally aquainted. Let me say it again, 71 pictures of the same person. Here's one with her eyes open, one with her eyes closed, various photos in cute little outfits, here's so-and-so who's fallen asleep with her, here's her sleeping with so-and-so, posing with her arms up, posing with her drink, and lots of pictures with other people. By the time I got to the end of the pictures, I came to a very profound conclusion. Being a baby is just like being Paris Hilton.

Think about it. No, for real, think about it! Immediately loved or hated (depending on whether or not the people in the room include siblings, cousins, or eccentric older relatives who used to claim the spotlight), entering the room of some gathering, she has the attention of everyone in that room. That baby has done nothing to earn the public's interest. It can't sing, it certainly can't act; for goodness sakes, it can't even go to the bathroom on it's own. But you love it, and you give it your attention. You have to, because if you don't she'll whine and cry, and possibly do something drastic in order to bring the spotlight back to herself.

Lost as to whether I'm talking about the Hilton or the baby? So am I.

I guess when you think about it, we've all had that Paris Hilton status. We've all been in that situation with all eyes on us. She's just kept it going for longer. How did she do that? Well, lets look at what we know of the similarities between a baby and Paris Hilton:

Baby / Paris Hilton

running around naked: loves it / loves it

talking in a small voice: can't help it / chooses not to help it

limited vocabulary: goo goo / that's hot.

sleeping: a lot / around

constant companion: stuffed animal / live animal

always drinking: a bottle / yes... but not a bottle.

If reclaiming the spotlight in your own life is something you're after, I guess you could look at this as some quick tips to be able to do that. These are just a few off the top of my head. Size is an important thing to being baby/Hilton-like, too. So remember to wear anything you can to make your head look smaller in comparrison.

(Note to my friends who have yet to send me baby pics: I'm done talking about babies, it's out of my system. You may now send me those pics without fear of blogs comparing them to lewd hardcore partying celebrities.)