Who I am, and why I like cake.

Ladies and gentlemen of myspace, I would like to extend to all of you a deep and heartfelt, "Sup." No, really, I mean that.

I'm trying to be more down with you guys today. Trying to be more chillaaaxed. Could it be because I want you to feel safe around me? Because I want to reel you in right in time for the gift giving season? Because I want you to realize that somewhere within this blog is a subtle plug thet my birthday is a week and a half away (November 7th, since you asked) and then talk about the celebration in detail? It's entirely possible, because I accept gifts that are both from the heart and cheap and last minute. Makes no difference to me, and the shinier the better.

All I'm saying is, late September/early October, all of the stores start breaking out the Christmas stuff. Hello, retail stores! You're gonna bury summer so quickly??? It's still warm! At least give us a chance to mourn it's passing...

Anyway, they completely forego Halloween, Thanksgiving, and in between and most importantly, my birthday. It's just not right, you know? It is a time for the anticipation of people giving stuff to me, and I have to be reminded to give to others??

I may be coming off a little selfish right now, allow me to start over.

Sup, myspacers.

I've just been thinking about things. Birthday related things. I know I'm a busy person, and I have a lot of friends in different groups who don't actually even know wach other. The simple fact of the matter is, if I ever need to get away from you, I know people you don't know that I know. I'm just saying.

So I've decided to throw a surprise birthday for myself. That way, you don't have to. Isn't that nice? Think about it. I know all of my contacts, they're MY contacts! How can the Sears people be expected to get ahold of the highschool friends? Or the relatives get ahold of the church friends? Or the LTD friends, or the UC friends, for that matter? I don't want ANY of these people left out of the celebration of my 24th year, it's a pretty big deal, after all. A mile marker.

Not for anything in particular, but you only turn 24 once you know! It's not like turning 29.
Anyway, you're ALL INVITED!!! It's gonna be the biggest bash, it's gonna be SO awesome.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "Ya, Audrey, I completely agree that this is the most brilliant idea since the invention of the lightbulb, but... how is it going to be a surprise if you're the one throwing the party?"

Well this is gonna be stunning to you, watch this- are you watching? Watch. Watch this-look! check it out...

So ya, I don't know WHERE we're gonna meet. It's an undisclosed location, mmkay? Don't know when either. Could be on my bday, could be this weekend. Could be in 5 minutes, I don't know.

I'm gonna be totally surprised, and I'm not even gonna see it coming. It's gonna be awesome.

You know what? My birthday could come and go, and I'll be all like, "Oh man, guess no party this year." And then two weeks later my surprise party happens and I'll be like "Whoa! I'm totally surprised right now!" That's called the fake-out.

Everybody is bringing food for everybody, and nobody's allowed to tell anybody else what they're bringing. You can't even ask what type of food- appetizer, entree or dessert. Even you guys are gonna be surprised. Some people will be required to bring nothing. Surprise! No food! This is a surprise themed surprise party.

In fact, you will be required to wear casual clothes, costumes, evening wear, and/or pajamas. Or a toga. Just follow your gut instinct on this one. The only guide you must go by is that you must wear SOME form of clothing, no nudity. Unless your name is David Beckham. No, just kidding. I don't want anyone at my party focusing on anyone but me and how surprised I am. Good surprised, not appauled-surprised.

Now, I can't tell you for sure what sort of activities are going to be at the party, because you have been reading this blog long enough to know that I'm too into being surprised to want to know what's going on. That would ruin it. However, you are NOT going to want to miss it. I've got three words to toss your way: ummm... actually, I forgot them. I'll get back to you on those three words. But seriously, you're not gonna want to miss this. OH, Wait! "Party of the... century"? That's 4 words. Well, I gave you an extra for your wait. But as far as entertainment goes, I'm thinking karaoke, flame jugglers, worlds most giant game of twister, pony rides, OH! Maybe we'll let people be shot out of a cannon. I think that'd be cool, because I haven't done that yet. What's better than virtual reality? ACTUAL reality. Hop on in there and get shot out of that cannon, just to say you did it. There may or may not be live performances/appearances by Madonna, Green Day, Celine Dion, Sting, and that kid who plays Harry Potter. He's a whiz at the clarinet, not a lot of people know that. Also maybe the B-52's, I don't know. I don't know any of these people personally, I'm just hoping they'll hear the buzz through the grapevine.

Several of you will be tasked with choosing the cake. I don't know who. You see, if I know who is in charge of the cake, I'll pretty much figure out what type of cake will be at the party, and that information is not far from knowing when the actual party is, then I'll discover the REAL guest list and activities and then nothing will be a surprise anymore NOTHING! So if you are supposed to bring a cake, you know who you are. If you're not sure whether or not you are a chosen cake bringer, you are one. Chose any sort of cake, but know this: I do not prefer chocolate cake. Neither does Leah, we are bonded in that way. Brownies are acceptable, but not as cake. If you bring Brownies, you'd better bring a cake too. Ice cream cake is always welcome, as are cheese and carrot.

If you mess up and bring a chocolate one, I'll probably take a bite of that too, just to make you feel good. After all, I don't want you to feel sad or akward at my surprise party because you forgot the one rule that I set. Know this, though, I will be glaring at you all night, and I will probably have David Beckham give you a wedgie when you least expect it. How will you get him back? It will be quite impossible.

Anyway, I am so excited! This is literally guarenteed to be the best party of my life. It seems a shame to get it done so early in my life, though... Guess I'll just have to raise the bar.

See you there!!!!!!!!!